The rabbit Goddess and her orange plushie
by Nartog
Summary: If not the first then one of the first fics shipping Kaguya(the mother of the sage)/Naruto. It may contain small amounts of crack.


_Disclaimer: Naruto and all its characters and settings and items and anything else related do not belong to me nor do I lay any claim towards them._

_To the best of my knowledge and understanding they are the property of Masashi Kishimoto as well as numerous other people or companies unknown to me. This sorry excuse for a plot is mine though as is the mysterious Man/Being._

_I do not earn any money through this piece and it is created solely for the purpose of entertainment and/or perhaps education(unlikely as it may be) of those who read it and it is of course free._

_If you liked this story then please consider supporting the companies and people who own Naruto by purchasing the manga, anime, games, films, toys and various other related merchandise and items._

* * *

Thanks to the restored Sasuke and Naruto the fighting spirit of the alliance was once again at an all time high, even Maito Gai had called them 'full of youth' before expiring.

"So you think these new powers of yours will be enough?" said a panting but smirking Madara as he faced the two power houses.

"Huf..huff, we will take you down! For all our friends depending on us!" countered a glowing Naruto.

Sasuke nodded, "ancestor or not you shame the Uchiha name."

Madara snarled and lunged for the young upstarts intending on showing those two just how vast the difference between them and him and stupid Hashirama was.

Amidst a barrage of punches the host of the Ten tailed best was knocked back with new bruises to add to his ever growing collection.

"Pff," he spat a tooth, "So you think you are better eh? Lets test this one at a time then.." and with a maniacal gleam Madara unleashed his full power upon poor Naruto.

Naruto did his best to defend against the sudden barrage but without the opportunity to power up as well, and the small fact that Sasuke was a few feet away sealed his fate.

A hard punch to the stomach knocked the orange haired male to the ground a hundred meters or so from Madara, with a snarl Sasuke was at last upon him, having powered up to his maximum while trying to reach his ancestor.

The immortal pain in the ass barely had time to turn his head before he had to examine the raven haired adolescent's blade, as it added a new gush in his frame that is.

With a backflip and a kick to the youth's face he escaped to a safe distance while his amazing regeneration did its work, "Hmm perhaps you are worth something after all, but you will have to show me just how far each of you can go on its own and not as a team." he said with a smirk while pointing at the wannabe Hokage.

The young Uchiha dared a glance to his fallen friend, now Naruto was resilient by nature add to that his most recent power up and he was a force to be reckoned with. If Madara and Sasuke were a bitch to kill then he was freaking Wolverine, even so his regeneration required a bit of time for it to work its magic.

Straining his new injuries while they healed he rearranged his position amongst the rubble to look at his friend, "Yo teme, keep him warm for me will ya? I will join you in a sec." he said while attempting to stand up, and in doing so reopening quite a few wounds and causing cursing to erupt from his inner world, "eh-hehehe sorry" he said.

As the youth opened his mouth to reply at his friend's stupidity a hard punch threw him backwards.

"Hmf, and you younglings call yourselves ninjas." spat Madara before dashing after Sasuke.

Said teenager did his best to prepare for the incoming pain missile.

With a smirk of enjoyment the old Uchiha started hammering blow after blow.

Much to his detriment though his descendant seemed to keep up with him, even dealing a few blows of his own here and there. It seemed that after both of them had unleashed their full power the gap had narrowed too much for comfort, and then there was the orange idiot to be aware off! He had to deal with the Sasuke boy fast.

Just as he was about to exploit an opening few martial artists alive today would regognise in Sasuke's stance a loud noise at his back drew his attention.

Where he had stood when he had punched the loud mouthed idiot now was a circular glowing thing, "A portal?" murmured the ancient man.

The center of said portal shattered to reveal a different place and two figures, one stepped through causing shivers to run through his entire being as well as some voice deep within him to scream, _'NNOOooo! Grandma is here, __I will be good I will be good...__'_ Madara shook his head as he got the mental impression that said voice was rocking back and forth in a fetal position. He frowned, hmm perhaps Hashirama was right in calling him crazy after all.

"Thanks for the lift handsome~! You are certain that I will find a good replacement for Shepard~Chan here?" asked the lovely female in a musical tone.

"You are quite striking yourself but there is already one of you in my harem," said the Man with a nosebleed to rival Jiraiya, "And yeah, I would suggest you take a look at the two young specimens in front of you, I would personally advise for the loud mouthed orange one as the other one has more exotic tastes" finished the Super God.

"Anyhow I will be going now, Toodles~!" said the Man in his own bad imitation of a musical tone before the portal disappeared.

"Ohh po-" started the beautiful female, 'Pow' that was Madara's fist attempting to remove the new opponent thanks to the sheer terror he felt emanating from his guts for some reason, he had learned a long time ago to trust his instincts.

"Hmm," started the female as if she was startled, almost like the fist that lay frozen on her skin was of no concern, "Why do I sense little Indra in you? No matter, no matter... I still need to examine those two, scram!" she said before Madara was flicked away, courtesy of her little finger.

"Grahuh.." screamed the ancient Uchiha in pain before he landed a couple kilometers away with a loud thud and a long groan.

Sasuke still stood with his punch extended as he had attempted to hit Madara, the rabbit goddess turned her eyes and fixed him with her gaze while she contemplated.

Having connected the dots from the overhead conversation the young man had rivers of sweat running down his back, '_Ohh no, No. Nonono! This is a sacrifice I am not making! Naruto can tag this one, I prefer my girls sane thank you very much! __And besides I am too young to marry, I am too young for this shi...__' _screamed Sasuke in his mind.

Kaguya for her part finished 'evaluating' the young man before she shook her head and turned her hungry gaze to poor Naruto.

'_Thank you Gods! Itachi I will rebuild that pocky temple you always spoke about.' _thought a relieved Sasuke.

"Alright, prepare for the asskicking of the century Madara-teme, wait where did he go and who are you?" asked our poor hero having healed at long last as well as powered up to his limit.

_'Graahh, not this shit again!'_ came the scream of terror from his inner world before a heavy slam was heard.

_'Err hello? Everything ok in there?'_ asked a confused Naruto. Silence was his only answer.

Meanwhile while all this was going on Kaguya had finished her 'evaluation', finding him more than satisfactory she proceeded to walk towards him her hips swaying in a feminine manner while she adorned an almost Hinata like expression of innocence.

"Ohh will the big strong ninja tell me his name?" said the purring woman.

"Err Naruto?" said the young man while a feeling of dread raced across his spine. Hearing his name the woman's smile only widened scaring the poor guy shitless, "I am Kaguya, I believe we are going to have much fun you and I huhuhu..."

Meanwhile Sasuke seeing his change to escape grabbed it with both hands, "Naruto I will defeat Madara, don't worry yourself and stay were you are relaxing. I will..err I will do it for our friendship yeaah!" said the young Uchiha while he fled in terror towards the new location of the ten tails host.

"Sa-sasuke?" whimpered Naruto.

Seeing the female about to touch him only one thought raced through the poor guy's mind, _'Log preserve me'_

Some distance away Hinata got that special feminine rage that only happened when a young woman had her love interest stolen by her mother or even worse grandmother.

* * *

Madara was defeated and the world was at peace, everything was well for everyone. Well almost everyone, Konoha's most recent Hokage had a persistent 'admirer' after him for the last 5 months.

"Morning, what can I get you Lord Hokage?" asked Ayame with a teasing grin.

"I think I escaped her, two..no three miso ramen please," as his heartbeat returned to normal what the woman said clicked in his mind, "Oh come on Ayame you know its Naruto" he said with a groan and a pathetic look.

Said girl had a proud smile on her face, "I know I know, but its fun teasing my little bro. Three miso's coming right up!" she finished as she got working on her stove.

_'Finaly a few moments of peace! Sasuke will pay for standing there and laughing, when I see him next I will shove a rashenshuriken up where the sun doesn't shi-' _

"Muu, its not polite to abandon a fair maiden my beloved Naruto" said the goddess with a mock pout adorning her fair face.

Naruto's inner monologue utterly shattered he slowly turned to gaze at the object of his dreams and nightmares.

"Eh hehehe you know I had to leave because of important business and I just finished them!" said the orange Hokage proud of the lie he thought on the spot if the stupid smile on his face was anything to go by.

"Hmm is that so, well since you are now free for the rest of the day we might as well have our third date here in this beautiful place eh?" asked the woman in an innocent tone.

"After all you always talk about how much you love this 'ramen' delicacy, and even more so about how this is the best place to get some. Don't you think it is only proper to introduce your girlfriend to all of life's pleasures?" she asked with a predatory smile.

Ayame lifted her gaze from the stove, "Wait so little bro does talk about us," her mind comprehending the rest of the woman's speech immediately switched to 'female smelling gossip mode', "Wait your girlfriend? Now why didn't you tell me anything about that eh?" she said whirling her head to the unfortunate male.

"W-wait she..i mean.."seeing no way out of this Naruto gulped, _'I will get you back for this teme!' _

* * *

Needless to say but Kaguya and Ayame hit it off, after a long war of attrition the young Hokage finally yielded and a year later they were married.

"I now pronounce thee married" finished Sasuke with a beaming and amused smile.

"You are enjoying this far to much teme." said Naruto as he gazed at his best friend with a sour expression.

"Ahh but I only ever wanted the best for my bro from another mother, after all who am I to stand in the way of true love" he said his face radiating innocence.

"Snifff, they grow up so fast" cried Kakashi his porn temporarily forgotten, yes he did bring it at the wedding, but between the porn and the green spandex outfit...

Naruto wasn't fooled, as he opened his mouth to speak his wife interrupted, "Oh thank you Sasuke, it means so much to me that my Naru-chan's friends approve!" finished Kaguya in a similar expression of innocence to that of the last Uchiha's.

Hinata's glare from the back rows said otherwise.

"Well won't you carry your wife?" asked the rabbit goddess with a pout.

With equal parts grumbling and blushing Naruto picked Kaguya up bridal style, "I do love you but must you tease me so much all the time?" whispered a blushing Naruto

"Ohh I know and I love you two, its just that you make it so easy and fun!" said a satisfied Kaguya , "After all you are my orange plushie." she whispered enticingly to his ear as she trailed a finger down his chest. Naruto blushed like mad before she teleported both of them to their home.

_The end?_

* * *

_(Author's Notes) This piece originally lodged itself in my head when chapter 670 came out, I wrote this when 671 came out mainly because if I didn't someone else would write something similar first :P So if not the very first then this is one of the very first pieces Shipping Kaguya(Mama of the sage)/Naruto._

_Also you are lucky bastards the lot of you, two pieces in one day? And yeah you could consider this loosely a follow up in the timeline to '**the one they feared!'** after the Commander left Kaguya wanted someone to love and be loved by, the Man always ready to mess with the plans of idiots and to troll decided to give a helping hand so to speak._

_Now from what I gleamed from the manga Kaguya also had the byakugan as well as the sharingan, the ancestor off all dojutsu then eh, so now in comes this new hottie who knows how to play both the poor innocent maiden and has a wicked side. The small fact that she won't faint in Naruto's presence and that she just..won't..give up makes her demolish poor Hinata._

_For any butthurt peasants reading this a year or more down the line when the facts have perhaps chanced all I will retort with is this, you are essentially reading the Man's edited memories into a readable form modified for amusement. So to all who say it deviates from canon remember, you have a Super God capable of doing whatever the 'blip' he wants, so is it that hard to conceive that he chose to 'use' as it were a dimension were the canon facts are up to chapter 671?...Wait that is a good explanation for all other stories as well 'writes that down'. So from now on that will serve as a good excu- truth! This is the truth! _

_Ahh and as to what happened to the brother of the sage of the six paths well I don't yet know the canon but in here he had better luck and passed away in peace, his descendants were not that crazy either for the most part barring one or two exceptions._

_P.s. I can't wait to visit back home were my xbox 360 awaits, I reeaaaly want to play halo 4... Also the flood/percusors rock! And so does Sierra-117 and Cortana!_

_P.s.2. I get the feeling that were Madara female this series would have been a lot different, is it my idea or is he quite a bit Tsun-tsun/dere-dere with Hashirama?_

_P.s.3. For more disturbing mental images try this! If I could court and bang girls from the Naruto set of realities and dimensions I would choose 2 Konan (the blue haired chick by Pain's side) and now Kaguya(the Sage's mama :P) she is one hot milf mmh. And with that kiddos I am off for a bath and then to farm a bit in diablo 3._


End file.
